Question by : why exactally dating should be secret to my kids?
I have an 8yo and a 1yr old and keep getting advice about dating. That I should wait a year even before introducing him, or not even having him pick me up at my house? Isn’t dating a normal behavior? Why should it be such a secret? Not like I want to move a bunch of differant guys in but I don’t see why my kid isn’t suposed to know anything? How am I suposed to know if he is a keeper if idk how he interacts with my kids?
Someone’s answer:
Answer by Flo
my mum introduced me to her boyfriend when i was about 12, me and my brother were ok with him we spent loads of time together it was ok, your right its normal, just tell them
gd luck
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Well I am assuming the advice is for your kids own safety. There are a lot of creepers out there that even after you break up with them would try to kidnap your kids. Really I think three months may be long enough. It is up to you, you are the parent. Just be wary of anything you perceive to be weird cause it just may be.
A year is far far far too long. If you get really into this guy over that year, then find out that your kids absolutely can’t stand him, then what?
I’d say, wait a month or so just to make sure you really are interested in him, then you two take your kids out to the park or for ice cream together. If you introduce them to every guy you go out with once a week though, they’ll get confused.
My mom was a single mom up until last fall when she got married. I’m 18 and she introduced me to this guy when I was 16ish. The reasoning behind that is seeing your mom dating different guys is confusing, and every time you meet a guy your mom is dating you think.. is this going to be my new dad?.. and every time the mom switches to a new guy it’s like losing your real dad again. The reason you wait is so that you can be the judge of how he will react to your kids, and so your kids won’t have to have their heart’s broken every time a relationship doesn’t work out. I think a year is about the right time to wait, but it’s your call in the end.
Im going through the same thing, i have a 15 month old baby n ive been dating this one guys for about 5 months already. He has met my daughter but my family tells me not to bring my baby around him so if anything goes wrong n stop dating him my daughter wont get hurt by not seeing him anymore. they tell me to wait until its something more serious, so if in the near future i date someone else my daughter wont be confused or hurt